Ugh, I have the worst headache right now and I should really be sleeping, but instead I’m going to share with you my most amazingly awesome experience of the day. Insert sarcastic eyeroll here.
Sidekick needs to see a doctor, STAT (as it seems babies so often do). We recently switched over to Kaiser Permanente for our new medical provider, so I logged onto their online account management system and it prompted me to “add a child to my family list” to schedule an appointment for him. I entered his medical record number and immediately got an error message stating that because my son was listed at a different address than me, they were unable to process my request. Huh. Someone must have mis-typed his information. So I called the customer service number on the back of the card and explained the situation.
“I’m sorry, Ma’am, but only the primary account holder can make updates to the account.”
“My husband? He’s at work. I just need to get this address problem fixed so I can schedule an appointment for my son.”
“We’re open 24 hours per day 7 days a week, so your husband can call as soon as he gets off work and he can make that update for you.”
Apparently since my husband is the one who pays for our medical coverage, he’s the only one who can make updates to our children’s account information.
Nevermind that I carried these children in my womb for nine months. Nevermind that my husband already filled out Kaiser Permanente’s online form authorizing me to act on his behalf…apparently that only applies to “non-account-related decisions,” according to the customer service rep.
And nevermind that my husband works 14-hour days, 4 days in a row and doesn’t have the time or energy to be making calls in between his shifts. Nevermind that I take care of all bill-payment and medical and most financial decisions.
The customer service agent and I went around in circles a few times before I realized there was only one solution: I would have to pretend to be a man. I hung up and hit redial, entering my husband’s medical record number and mustering the deepest voice I could.
“Ahem, yes, hello. My son’s address information was entered incorrectly in your system. I need to get that fixed so that I can manage his account online.”
I heard a lot of keyboard-tapping at the other end of the line before the woman responded, “Okay……….sir. I’m just going to need you to verify your date of birth, social security number and address before I can make that update.”
She clearly wasn’t buying it. Fortunately, I know my husband’s details quite possibly better than he knows them himself, and I passed their little identity quiz. Update made, doctor appointment scheduled.
Moral of the story: only breadwinners can manage their children’s medical accounts. The rest of us had better become experts at imitating our significant other.
Sheesh. I am all for companies taking measures to protect people’s private and personal information. I would side with the company……IF you didn’t already have that authorization form in place. That is ludicrous. Good for you for finding a way to bypass that ridiculous rule.
Seriously, it’s constant little speed bumps like this that just grate on people after awhile.
Wow! That is pretty infuriating. Good thing it wasn’t an emergency. Is it me or is medical stuff getting more convoluted all the time. My husband is a farmer, so I sympathize. Speaking of irritations, had that pulled with me by a cable guy… I wasn’t the bill payer. He is lucky I let him leave with just a piece of my mind. :) (probably should have cancelled the service, too!)
My guess is that maybe people screw with their husband or wife’s accounts when they’re getting divorced?? That’s the only reason I can think of that would make companies not allow spouses to make account updates.
I loved your tweets about pretending to be him! Now that’s an idea I’ll have to remember! I mean really that’s quite ridiculous, it’s not like his aunt was calling. It’s his Mother! Ugh places drive me nuts sometimes with all the *policies*. We are on Tricare insurance since my husband is a Marine and usually even they aren’t as strict. Tweet ya later @CouponmomASH :)
Yes you can pretend to be your husband or you can get your husband to sign an authorization with your insurance company so you can be able to access the medical records to make changes/ appts/get info etc. I’ve been handling all the medical calls for our family for the last two years and I have not had a problem since my husband has given me authorization. He is not home during the week so I could never wait for him to get home to do these things.
He filled the authorization form out as soon as we switched to Kaiser, but the customer service agent said that still doesn’t allow me to make account updates. I’m HOPING that maybe she was just new or confused, and that that isn’t actually the company policy.
I love that she didn’t take into account that you needed this fixed right away so you could schedule a doctor appointment. Sheesh people.
Right? Of course, if we had some sort of emergency my kids would be getting medical care regardless. I’d make damn sure of that!!