So Braun, the company that conquests men’s faces around the world, decided they liked us enough to send over the Braun Cruzer Beard and Head Trimmer for review. Braun must think I’m important…special…pretty. This is the first time a company has asked strictly for my opinion on a product, without any of Chelsea’s input (not that she could really test this one out…her mustache is WAY too small). I teared up when Chelsea gave me the news. “Of all the beautiful people in the world,” I said as I stood there on my knees, arms outstretched to the sky, “Braun wants to use MY face!”

In all honesty, I’m actually just a little worried. If you look at anything else I’ve written, I’m pretty blunt. I don’t like to beat around the bush and I never lie. Just ask Chels. She still asks me my opinion of how she looks when she tries on a dress, but now has grown accustomed to me letting her know that sometimes, a dress might actually make her look…you know…larger. I told her, “If you ever ask my opinion, I’m going to tell you. I will NEVER change that. But one thing is for sure: you can always believe what I say.”

So the package came in the mail. Pretty snazzy looking. I pulled it out of the box and immediately thought to myself, “Damn it, I’m going to have to write a bad review!” I come from a family (well, to be specific, a dad) who believes that quality things are all made from heavy materials and higher quality items are made from stainless steel. This Braun Beard and Head trimmer is made with a plastic body that has some rubber accent areas.

So I turn it on without charging it and its little motor started working pretty well. It felt solid and didn’t have any “hickups” as I shook it around like I hated it. So far, so good! I’m familiar with the old school Wahl trimmer that my family has had since the early 80′s. I remember my mom sitting me down in the kitchen on a stool and cutting my hair with it. Only problem with that one was, when we went to replace it, the newer plastic model couldn’t cut AIR, much less HAIR. It would all get backed up in the trimmer and require manual removal.

Second test (after the shake of fury, which is an advanced technique used to determine construction quality): a straight plow style cut through what’s left of the hair on my head. Since I already have thinning patches, I just decided to go with the Bruce Willis. Damn thing cut straight through with no problems AND didn’t get bogged down. Good show, old boy! After multiple pulls, same result. Clean rows of evenly cut hair. It cut the lines I needed it to. I’m not doing anything fancy, but it lined up my sideburns and neckline nicely.

So, why stop there? I mean, this thing should be able to get through a simple day’s work. Let’s just say…my arms no longer look like they belong to Robin Williams. Also, I’m sure it it could easily take care of hair elsewhere. Just saying. Yes sir, I’m as slick as Michael Phelps without a speedo (or pot, for that matter).

My grade for this contraption: A. The only reason I don’t give it an A+? I would have to see just how long it would last, and we don’t have enough time for that. Good job, Braun!