I stumbled across a New York Times article that asks a bold (and to me, slightly offensive and ageist) question: What is it About 20-Somethings?

The article ponders why adults in our age group appear to be having trouble growing up, moving out, and getting on with our lives. The author goes through an exhaustive account of scientific and sociological studies, lamenting the end of an era when kids grew up, got a stable job, had babies and eventually retired on pensions supported by the next crop of kids. We’re now getting married later, moving around more, and making fewer long-term decisions.

A century ago, psychologists determined that “adolescence” is what makes 12 to 18 year olds act irresponsible and moody. Now those psychologists are supporting ageism by claiming that us 20-somethings are in a developmental stage called “emerging adulthood,” which apparently makes us flaky, self-centered and unreliable. The article does point out that while many in my group are unemployed and living back at home, some are stable workers with steady jobs and families. However, the author never addresses the root of this divergence, debating instead how society should protect the slackers of the group without angering or alienating the more “grown up” ones.

As a 25 year-old, I’d like to present my own theory on why there’s such a divergence among my age cohort. I strongly believe that we all have goals, hopes and dreams and that we’re working diligently to achieve them.

Put yourself - if you will - in the shoes of a 20-something living in the 2000-somethings: We’ve been told since birth that if we study hard and do well in college, our lives will be set. We’ll have it made and the world will be our oyster. Yet most of us emerged from our educational career in the midst of one of the worst recessions in history. Companies stopped hiring altogether. People ready to retire lost millions in the stock market, forcing them to stay at jobs that would’ve opened up for us newcomers. Those already out of the workforce came back, using their experience to snag the few openings around. Many recent grads who managed to get hired were the first to be laid off when cutbacks began.

We’re trying. We’re really trying. But many of us are faced with a quandary: move back home and build our career with internships and “resume boosting jobs” that pay practically nothing, or wait tables in order to make rent. Generally, those who move home have made a calculated decision, weighing the long-term benefits against the short-term downfalls. Those who don’t have any parental support seem to fail or achieve success, with little discernable rhyme or reason.

We get conflicting messages, being told on one hand to build up a savings and on the other to live well while we have the chance (before all the responsibilities kick in). Our parents tell us we’ll be rewarded by working diligently with one company long-term, whereas the modern-day mentality indicates that we’ll get ahead by switching jobs frequently to build on past experience. In the field, many of us are constantly reminded that we’re the office “junior.” Older coworkers try to stick us with secretarial duties, even if our job title is Account Manager, Executive or Project Leader. Age discrimination in the workplace eventually wears on a 20-something’s enthusiasm. Our age group brings a lot of knowledge to the table – about the latest technologies, newest research and emerging trends – but most people don’t take our opinion seriously. When we try to speak up, older coworkers often seem bored, annoyed or even antagonistic. But with a growing age range in the office, it’s no wonder that ageism is dominating the workforce. We are vying for our elders’ jobs.

Also at this time in our lives, most of us are dealing with situations beyond our career. Our parents are getting older and some need our care. We’re juggling jobs, family, dating lives, and further education. A college career isn’t enough anymore, and we’re all searching for something else to bring to the table. Something that’ll make us fit in, or stand out, or fulfill whatever need that elusive employer is looking for.

So if we seem flaky and unreliable, it’s because the clear path that all those older people laid out for us has failed. We don’t want welfare and we really don’t want to be stereotyped. Us 20-somethings have an incredible desire to make it on our own and we’re eager to do whatever it takes. We’re just not sure what that is anymore.

Apparently, Chelsea wants me to become more “involved” in this blog world. I guess I can oblige her, even though when I write like this I imagine some other guy out there saying to himself, “I wish this dude would stop yammering.” On the upside, I really don’t have a shortage of things to talk about. There are so many “issues” in my world that could use a good discussion (by this I mean important things, like food).

I find it very frustrating when friends of ours use the word “best” to refer to food, restaurants or places they’ve been. I always listen to their exclamations of perfection with a very tilted brow. I’ve come to discover, as I progressed from child to what I hesitantly call a man (I feel too young to use that word…even though I’m larger than at least 75% of the American male population), that people exaggerate. A lot. I think this is because they’ve come to believe that if they don’t, no one is going listen or take them seriously. Well, I’m here to say, ”I do listen. Don’t take my ears for granted.”

What does this have to do with food? If you plan on telling someone that a restaurant where you’ve eaten (or any place you frequent) has the “best” something, take a minute and think if that something actually qualifies. I do. Even when it hurts, as it does when I have to demote one of my regular bests after finding a new best. It’s actually like a break up for me. I love my bests. I really do.

I had a bit of a disappointing “best” situation this last weekend. My brother and I are the greatest friends. Each of us knows how the other thinks and we can always trust each other. When it comes to things like food and movies, usually if one gives a restaurant or film a good review, the other can count on that to be fact. My brother has been spot on over 95% of the time and always puts thought into his evaluations.

Except this weekend.

He had recently gone to San Francisco to visit family and happened upon a pizza restaurant in North Beach. Shortly after eating, he sent me a text exclaiming that he’d just eaten the best pizza he ever had. Now, knowing our previous number one, this must have been pizza with some ecstasy sprinkled in it or something. So as fate would have it, I found myself in San Francisco this past weekend and had to try this “best” pizza. I arrived in North Beach, a very Italian part of SF, and found the pizza joint he told me about. Based on the smell, I thought he was on to something. There was no shortage of garlic or sausage scent in the air…definitely a good sign.

Then the time came. I ordered exactly what he ordered. Visually, my entree appeared promising. As I took my first bite, however, I found myself waiting. I expected the flavor my brother spoke of to hit me at any moment. Any second, I knew the “holy hell that’s good” sensation would overtake me. I took another bite, just in case I missed it. I kept waiting.

This was my brother’s 5%. The one out of twenty I dreaded. I called him that night to let him know (we’re a bit outspoken). “Kiel, you’re wrong. It’s not the best. I’m sorry,” I said with a hint of sadness in my voice. It was terrible to have to break the bad news to him over the phone, but it had to be done.

I guess with him, that 5% can be chalked up to personality differences. I’m sure at some point in my life, my “best” just wasn’t good enough either.

By the way, here are my best restaurants in San Diego: my best pizza is Filippi’s (the ones in North County. Apparently there’s a discrepancy over which family member runs each one – and it’s noticeable). My best hamburger is Hodad’s double bacon cheeseburger in OB. If you have a “legitimate” best that bests mine, let me know what it is and why.